Sunday, September 25, 2011

Let's Start at the Very Beginning...A Very Good Place to Start

Let me start by telling you that I love my kids so much.  Each of them really are amazing miracles (each in their own way) and I am so very thankful for them.  I'm actually a mama of 5.  Did you know that?  I believe that the moment your pregnancy test says positive, you are a mama.  You start to worry like a mama and you start taking care of your little one (ie. prenatal vitamins, good diet, etc) like a mama would. 

With my first pregnancy, I did just that...minus my random trips to the grocery store for some not so healthy Spaghetti Os and tums.  I did just what the books said, and I took care of my little one the best I knew how.  At my 12 week check-up, my hard work did not pay off.  My little one did not have a heart beat.  I was devastated.  That was my baby.  So, when Logan came along, I knew he was a miracle from God.  No matter how much I took care of my baby, it was God who lovingly "knit him together in my womb." Psalm 139:13  When my sweet and precious and perfect little Logan was placed in my arms, I knew I was holding an absolute miracle.

Elijah was a miracle in a different way.  My pregnancy with him went well, and when I say well, I mean that I didn't have a miscarriage.  Any sickness or uncomfortableness in a pregnancy is welcome when you know the loss of a baby.  Bring it all on!  And, sick I was!  I vomited like crazy in my first trimester and got the stomach flue a few times in my second trimester.  I knew he was going to have to be a fighter with all the health issues I had.  And fighter he was!  He moved like crazy, let me tell you.  When it came time to give birth, it all went super fast...a little too fast.  His heart rate dropped to an alarming low and they quickly prepped me for a c-section.  They were going to put me completely out because they needed to get to him quickly.  Well, I started pushing in the hallway, so the c-section was cancelled and I was challenged to push harder than I knew was possible.  When he came out, he wasn't breathing.  The room fell silent except for the sound of a bag pushing oxygen into my little baby's unresponding lungs.  I prayed with all that I was...and witnessed my second miracle.  I watched as God suddenly breathed life into my little boy, and immediately my fighter came to life.  I wish you all could have been in that room to witness such an event.  His apgar score went from 2 to 10.  He has been my little "fighter" ever since.  Boy does that boy have LIFE!

Cadel was my third little miracle.  After the loss of my beloved daddy-in-law, I got pregnant.  And again, this time around 10 weeks, I found out that there was yet again no heart beat.  Devastation followed by devastation.  When you have such amazing loss like that, you are more than ready to experience life.  I got pregnant right away (PRAISE THE LORD!  THANK YOU JESUS!), and I asked God for yet again, another miracle to be placed in my arms.  My pregnancy went as smoothly as can be and I had one heck of a miracle placed in my arms weighing 9lbs 6oz and 22in long.  One BIG miracle!  Man, God sure can answer prayers!

Why have I just told you my birth stories?  Our children are miracles, each and every one.  The ones who only live 10 weeks, and those who live 110 years.  Sweet, sweet miracles.  We must look at them like that every day.  Thank God for them every day.  I know there are days that are long and tiring.  I know there are days when your patience is short and is tested and life is busy.  I know.  BUT, we can't stop praying for and rejoicing over our little miracles.  Stop and do just that.  I have some friends who have lost their miracles.  I have some friends who are still waiting for their miracles.  Let's not take our miracles for granted.  Lets step up as moms and invest into our little miracles and treasure them like none other. 

Thank you Lord for the miracles you give us, the 10 fingered and 10 toed miracles who sometimes hit the ground running.  Watch over them, especially when we can't, and mold them.         

3 comments:

  1. Crystal, this is so beautiful! It made me cry! Yes, every single one of our precious ones are miracles. Thank you for this wonderful reminder to celebrate our littles ones all the time!

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  2. Crystal,
    Thank you for sharing your story so openly. I found great comfort in reading this. I too, love and miss my first miracle, and we are so excited to meet our new miracle on the way. So yes, I stand with you and thank Jesus for all the miracles that He gives us, especially the ten finger and ten toes ones. Xo

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  3. Crystal,
    Oh, your five little ones are so precious indeed, everyone of them! Thank you for sharing your mother's heart, pain, agony and amazing joys. My heart has broken with you and rejoiced with you. How I love your little miracles! How I love you! You are a miraculous gift from God!
    With love,
    Mama B

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